The thing about social sites is that they fool me. Pinterest tricks me into thinking that I have done something with the hours I have spent on the site because I am not just an observer. I am active. I am Pinning!
Red skinny pleated silk capri poncho pants with a hot pink plaid flannel shirt and a skinny patent belt? Hell yeah I could rock those to go and buy some Half and Half and kitchen garbage bags at Hannafords. Cookies made from a gluten free hand pounded flour mix? Who doesn't have the time?!
"Whatcha doin' today?" someone would ask. "Oh, just picking up some repurposed labels and recycled glass Mason Jars to make my washing machine detergent and dryer sheets aesthetically pleasing." (I'll do some leg lifts and mutter inspiring phrases as I get organized).
Pinterest makes me feel creative when I am actually sitting down and slamming back a bag of Sour Patch Kids. When I am nursing my wounds and celebrating the victories of getting through another day as a Stay at Home mom to two young children.
For most of us, I think the thing that it all boils down to is wanting to have time to nurture passion. But don't be tricked. It's not enough. Pinterest is just a bunch of pretty pictures. And we all know that all of those friends of ours on Facebook are not truly our confidants.
What I am learning is if I don't nurture me, it all falls apart. I can't be creative and energized for my babies if my creative stomach is empty. How can I feed them if I'm starving, right?
You see what I'm getting at here?
You know that feeling you get when the Gas Station attendent pays you a little extra attention even though your shirt is nasty and you feel like you just got slapped in the face by a whole box o' ugly? You know how it can change your mood for the day? How you feel about yourself?
Yeah it's like that.
I find that when I rely on Pinterest and Facebook and other social sites and blogs to fuel my fire, my fire starts getting less and less hot. And I get less and less excited about, well, everything.
But when I start thinking and moving and writing and singing, life gets better. And I get happier.
In order for me to get amped about being creative, I need to come to terms with where and what I am. I have made the choice to be a Stay at Home Mom. But a Stay at Home mom is not what I AM.
Get the difference?
In order for me to Carpe Diem, I need to seize myself. And I want others to see me too.
What we all want is to be seen. Not celebrity-walk-the-red-carpet seen (unless that IS what you want and, if so, go for it.), but rather to be recognized. Heard.
To have loved ones or friends or strangers think to themselves, hey, that chick is good at that.
That chick is capable.
A friend did this for me the other day. I had been sitting on my hands and dreaming about what I could be doing. Wondering if I was good enough to do it. Whammo! Out of the blue she emails me and says,"Hey, you know what? You should do this. You're good at it. I support you".
In other words, she saw me. And it felt awesome.
Moral of the story mommies? Do something for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is. If you DO like organizing your dryer detergent in Mason jars, recognize that! Stack those jars high and be proud. Make shoelaces out of old dental floss and food coloring and slap those pictures on Pinterest if that's what gets ya' going. Or run. Or write. Or rap, for God's sake!
But take a moment, too, to give another woman a pat on the back.
Chances are you'll make her day.
4 comments:
"A Stay at Home Mom is not what I AM." But it's PART of what you are, isn't it? The compassionate, giving, loving, playful part--not a part of yourself to entirely disown! It makes me sad how we sassy, creative, intelligent women who choose to be home with the babes (and I include myself here) wrestle with our own judgments about what we do every day. I have to remind myself at least a dozen times daily that I am not boring, without ambition, a mooch, or a total failure as a feminist. I look forward to a time when we never have to proclaim "I'm so much more than just a Stay at Home Mom!" to the world or to ourselves.
Oh yes, what a great point, thank you. A Stay at Home Mom is not all that I am, but it's so much of it. Well put. Keep commenting!
Hi MamaZee! I'm Simone. I went to high school with your hubby! I actually landed here because he had posted a link on his facebook status to your blog. I'm a blogger too...and a pinner....yes!! PINTEREST!! The most beautiful time sap! Anyway, I loved your blog post. I was and am a stay/work at home mom...with a passion for design of all kinds. When I worked in corporate America, I worked for Charles Schwab. I worked part time after my first and then got laid off after my second due to the market tanking. I then started dabbling in design, which is absolutely my passion. I ran a small boutique design business making handbags and accessories for women and clothing for girls but I closed the doors at the end of last year when things got so busy that I either neede to hire someone or close it down and take a step back for a bit-- It has been interesting. When the business was open, I always felt so bad when I was up late working or working on the weekend, or when the laundry piled up...but now I feel like I should be doing something more. I swear-- it's a no win situation!
Love your blog. I'll be tuning in often! xo
Thanks Simone-and welcome! I agree, there is no winning. I was a working mother (high school English teacher) for years before I became a SAHM. There is guilt either way. I think the secret is deciding where you feel best and then adding a pinch of this and a pinch of that; a careful recipe.
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